This morning I cried…


Most people wake up in the morning and do not have to “think” about what they are about to eat. Egg, toast, bacon, avocado, oats….all easy grab and go meals. Man, oh man do I miss those days. When food for the most part, was for nourishment. Where I didn’t have to worry did I soak it too long or not long enough, will my body be able to manage, will my bowels constrict, will I vomit or worse yet will I have an anaphylaxis episode.

As I stared at my bowl of gluten-free oats that I had soaked over night, all the above flashed before my eyes. Its going on seven years, my life was altered changed for ever, based on lack of knowledge. Five of those years I have been scrambling to figure out what happened and figure out a way to stabilize myself to be well. All the while working to do the same for my children, which thank God is working. So now its my turn!!

So here I was getting my children ready for school, bustling about (actually rushing, we got up a little later than usual) and my eyes would glance over to the bowl. I kept thinking “Could this be the day?” “Could this be the day, my cells do not reject what I feed it?” “The day my body does not tingle as tiny reminders of the anaphylaxis that lies beneath my skin isn’t triggered, or by stomach does not balloon where I appear six months pregnant?” “Could today be the day?” Listening to my children giggle as they watched Curious George, I push that all aside as we are now very late and need to get to the bus.

I come back from dropping them off and glance over at the bowl, tears slide down my face. I am weary, it is okay now to let my guard down to just be. I stand there thinking  “I just can not do chicken again this morning, I just can’t.”  “But is that bowl and my need for change in my morning routine worth it?”  “I have two children to care for, studying to do.”” I can not afford my brain fogging over, getting lost as it misfires not able to retain knowledge. As words jump from the page and become jumbled as the pressure mounts in my head, my eyes straining even behind glasses.”

I rinse the oats and heat them up. I remembered I had taken a digestive enzyme which has made a world of difference in being able to eat again, so that takes off some pressure. Since it will be an all or nothing type of day, I decide to top it with some wholesome goodness. A spoonful of sun butter, blackberries and sprinkled with pumpkin and sunflower seeds. Oh and what the heck, toss in a few Enjoy Life chocolate chunks. It looks sooooo good. I prepare my Holy Basil tea and just stare at it. All I could think was “Can I eat this?” I say a prayer and I begin. One spoonful, I slowly chew so concerned with anaphylaxis. I have been able to manage that naturally by eating fresh thyme as soon as it begins but it still creates havoc within my body. Next spoonful, no numbness, my throat is not closing over, I can breathe. Okay, things are looking good!!

I finished the bowl and thankfully no anaphylaxis, however twenty minutes in there was some inflammation of my joints and some swelling in my stomach but no anaphylaxis!! I consider that a major win!!  I will still listen to my body, inflammation and bloating are both signs to heed. But even with that little set back I am still ahead. The lowering of my histamine levels, cooking to support internal inflammation all are taking effect. My body is slowly healing and I can eat more things.

I am sharing this today because allergies, sensitivities and intolerance are real and they create major stress in families lives. I am a grown woman, who it took this to occur for me to get in tune with my body.  This all started for me hours after taking a flu shot while pregnant. Before this I was a smorgasbord eater lol, I could eat just about anything. I was thirty-seven when this occurred and it forever changed my life and the life of my children. I share to give others hope, that they can rebuild, they can reclaim their health. I also share for those who are well, to never take your health for granted. Cherish it and treat your body with love so it can care for you.

So the next time you are frustrated because some child has an allergy, you can’t send that particular snack, or you don’t think allergies or food issues are a big deal, we are all one choice away from this becoming “you”. I really hope my story pops into your mind. These people who are effected are not trying to make your lives harder, for many they are trying to survive.

Wishing You A Wonderful Day!!

Your Nutritionist in Training


2 thoughts on “This morning I cried…

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